Leaving your family home to go to university is not always easy. Read the advice from a first-year student and her dad to get two points of view on the experience.

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Leaving home

Going away to university is always a tricky time, both for the students who are leaving home and their parents who are staying behind. We got advice on how to cope from a student daughter and her dad.

A daughter’s advice to parents, by Kerry Price

My parents drove me to uni at the beginning of the first term. That was great, but then they hung around, so it was hard to chat to the people in the rooms near mine. It’s best if you leave us to unpack ourselves.

Don’t ask us to come home during term time. There’s a lot going on at weekends, there just isn’t time.

Get another interest or a pet if you feel lonely without us. Don’t make us feel guilty about leaving home!

It is quite interesting to hear about your experiences at uni, but remember that it was a LONG time ago so don’t go on about it so much. Things have changed a lot. Now we have a lot more debt and it’ll be harder to find a job in the future.

Please don’t check up on us or our friends on Facebook. I know it’s a public site, but we have the right to some privacy.

Don’t change anything in our bedrooms. We have only half left home - we’ll be back in the holidays, so please don’t touch anything.

We’d still like to come on family holidays with you. Don’t forget to include us just because we’re not there all the time.

A father’s advice to students, by Stuart Price

Don’t complain so much about how much work you have to do. We work a lot too. You’re an adult now, get used to it.

Put up with the fact that we refused to get a dog while you were at home, then suddenly bought one as soon as you moved out. We miss you!

Just because you’re at university studying very complex subjects, it doesn’t mean that you’re more intelligent than everybody else. Don’t treat your family as if they were stupid; we’re really not.

Let us come and visit you now and again. We promise to try not to embarrass you in front of your friends. We just want to see you for a short time and take you out for a meal.

Don’t waste so much time on Facebook. You need time for all that work you have to do, remember?

We might make a few changes to your room, so deal with it. It’s great to have a guest room at last, but we won’t change things too much, promise.

Don’t forget to call home from time to time and don’t get annoyed if we phone you. It’s not pestering. If we didn’t call, you wouldn’t know that we care.

Discussion

Are you looking forward to leaving home? Why or why not?

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Comments

Sasori_n's picture
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Sasori_n 13 October, 2021 - 08:40

Are you looking forward to leaving home? Why or why not?
At the moment, I already live far away from my parents and family. I study at a wonderful university and live in a dormitory. Now I don't miss home too much, because I'm constantly busy with different kinds of activities. These are studies, various events, and entertainment.
At first, of course, I felt terrible homesickness, for my parents, friends who stayed in my city. I think it was even harder for me, because I moved from a completely different country with a different mentality and people. But now that I have made a lot of new acquaintances, found real friends, I have completely lost the feeling of homesickness. In addition, nowadays, thanks to the wonderful function of social networks, I can constantly be in touch with my family and talk to them via video. It's also incredibly uplifting in difficult moments.
Summing up, I want to say that moving away from home is incredibly difficult. However, it is also a very useful experience that will come in handy in later life. Do not be afraid of this, because no matter what happens, the family will always be there.

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JoModerator's picture
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JoModerator 13 October, 2021 - 08:45

Hi Sasori_n,

Thanks for your comments on LearnEnglish Teens. This website is specially for teenagers aged 13-17 years old but it sounds like you could be older than that. You are welcome to keep on using LearnEnglish Teens but if you are over 17, please don't post any more comments as we must keep this strictly for teenagers to interact with each other.

 

Best wishes,

Jo (LearnEnglish Teens team)

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nikkkj's picture
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nikkkj 15 September, 2021 - 00:33

I'm not waiting for the opportunity to leave home, because it will be difficult for me to adapt to my new place of residence. Therefore, I don't plan to move from my family in the near future. Still, living alone would be much more comfortable, but in some situations it is more difficult.

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BettyCurl's picture
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BettyCurl 14 September, 2021 - 19:20

Not yet, I just want to finish school, but maybe in a few years, when I go to university, maybe I will leave home.
I have a very tight-knit family and I'm not sure that we can live without each other for more than 2 weeks. But on the other hand, , the university is the perfect time to be independent and responsable because in the future we are going to be adults.It is exciting and scary at the same time because you will get a lot of free time and a lot of responsibilities such as carry a budget, cook for yourself or buy some useful in household things. I hope I will get used to my own adult's life!

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Anastasia2005's picture
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Anastasia2005 14 September, 2021 - 19:16

Let's talk about one of the important topics of leaving from parents. And we will consider about such questions whether it is necessary to leave from parents at all, why it is necessary and how it affects us.

To begin with, if you want to leave from your parents, then in any case, no matter how much you want it or not, it will be difficult for both sides to get over . First of all, you need to understand that moving away from your parents makes you separate and independent, now you are responsible for your own actions the, you cook your own food, do household chores.In my opinion, it is possible to leave from your parents already when you entered the university and it is not even possible , but I would say it is necessary .Since the longer you live with your parents, the more you become attached to them and become less independent, because you can always subconsciously expect on the help of your parents ( the word help here I do not mean to help decide some problem or help make a decision, but in the sense of cleaning up for you or cooking food, etc.).Why many people do not want to leave from their parents because it is just convenient for them to be with them , they will cook , buy food ,and clean the house , and when you live alone, all these responsibilities pass to you alone. I believe that the longer a person lives with his parents, he with the time becomes not independent at all, and no matter how sad it is , but our parents will die sooner or later, and as a rule, after their pass away , people who have lived with their parents for a long time are simply not adapted to life and do not know what to do without parents.Therefore, I consider that leave from your parents is simply necessary , if you want to grow up, of course . Yes, it will be difficult to survive emotionally, but everything is possible .

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Margaritatr 14 September, 2021 - 18:36

I'm not entirely sure that I am ready to leave home. On the one hand, living without parents can improve my independence. I can learn how to budget, cook, keep household and take responsibility for my actions. On the other hand, our family ties can become weaker. I really afraid that we won't be able to become that tight-knit family we used to be.

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strawberry123_'s picture
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strawberry123_ 24 August, 2021 - 12:43

I really don`t know.. From one side it would make me more independent. And I would make a lot of new friends and there`s such cools rooms at the university, where I want to study . But from other side, I`ll be missing my parents and sister so much(( And I`d have to leave my dog, I like them so much(( So, I really don`t know, but I have 4 years to think about it.

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Tarbaev's picture
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Tarbaev 15 September, 2021 - 07:38

I'm not going to leave my home anytime soon. I'm used to the fact that there are always people next to me who can have my back. Also, I don't know how to cook, so that if I leave home, I will need a lot of money to order healthy food and not eat fast food.
If I leave the home , the stump will have to do the cleaning myself and, wash things and do any ele housework.
I love my family and want to stay with it until I have my own

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Kostantinus's picture
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Kostantinus 1 March, 2021 - 09:17

I am not going to leave my home, because I want to have more personal life. I love my parents so I will miss them a lot when I will leave my hometown for studying at university in another city. I can't say that my friends are more important for me than my mother and my father. I believe, all students who study far away from own parents, always can find the time and possibilities to visit their parents. It's just about relationship between them. I understand, studying at uni ,associated with many tasks, but at least once a month to see own parents it's not a big challenge. Students shouldn't forget that the most important in our lives are our families and our parents won't live forever.

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Moony's picture
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Moony 19 December, 2020 - 18:35

Well I'm not completely sure but I suppose that no.

I'm still too young to think hours about it, but I know that in the future leave my home to go to uni will be bittersweet because I will be excited about going to university and study something that I love but I will be sad of leaving my house and my family to make my dreams come true and I will be consternd because I'll live alone and trying to take the control of my adult life. So it's complicated give a certain answer about it right now.

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Jenny201's picture
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Jenny201 28 November, 2020 - 09:19

I'm not looking forward to leaving home. Now I'm a second-year student at a university in my hometown. My university is located 13 kilometers far from my house. It's convenient for me to be able to stay at home without lending a dorm or motel. I enjoy spending time with my family and help them with household chores. After finishing any stressful subject, I just want to come back home to see and relax with them. I don't want to face 4 walls in the dorm or friends who also suffer the stressful things like me. I want to find people who get ready to spare time to confide with me. I don't literally like feeling helpless when hearing about my family's illness or trouble but I can't do anything to help them in strange places.

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editor_rachael's picture
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editor_rachael 28 November, 2020 - 15:40

Hi Jenny201,

 

Thanks for your comments on LearnEnglish Teens. This website is specially for teenagers aged 13-17 years old but it sounds like you are older than that. You are welcome to keep on using LearnEnglish Teens but if you are over 17, please do NOT post any more comments as we must keep this strictly for teenagers to interact with each other. 

 

Best wishes,

 

Rachael
LearnEnglish Teens team

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MarisolM's picture
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MarisolM 11 September, 2020 - 22:50

In my opinion I agree with Kerry's opinion it is so difficult to be independent at all. But not impossible. We don't have to forget our parents because they will be proud of us being at a university concluding our studies and they give us all the support. In the opinion of Stuart I agree with that.

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marianrg's picture
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marianrg 11 September, 2020 - 22:45

I am looking forward to moving away from home at least one year and I think that all the tips that are here are very helpfull

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Maraguirre's picture
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Maraguirre 11 September, 2020 - 22:40

Im not looking to move from my home, cause im too young and i need to learn more from life to be independent.

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alejandramr's picture
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alejandramr 11 September, 2020 - 22:39

I think that there has to be a balance because in one side, its very important to keep in touch with your family regularly so they can be sure that you are ok and safe, but in the other hand the parents have to understand that part of of their children growing and maturing process is that their daughters and sons also need some space and privacy so they can experienced new things from their own and learned from them.

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A01284811's picture
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A01284811 11 September, 2020 - 22:37

I agree with your comment because you don't know how to live alone, you need people and it is very difficult to make friends.

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Yuly's picture
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Yuly 11 September, 2020 - 22:36

I am foreign student, so I could feel what Kerry felt at the university, I thing the university and the opportunity to study abroad is a really good to become independent and responsaible about our own acts. Actually leaving home is a process that all of us are going to experiment, so reading this kind of articles for me is a prediction of what could I will be feeling in a few months.

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A01284820's picture
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A01284820 11 September, 2020 - 22:31

In my personal life, I do not agree with the idea of living home to go to university because I do not want to leave my family and friends behind. I would like to go to university in a place that is near my house and when I graduate I will be independent. The thing that I do not like about leaving my family and friends is that I will only see them only for holidays or in the summer.

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fernandoag's picture
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fernandoag 11 September, 2020 - 22:29

I am looking forward to leave my home, because I want to finally leave by myself and have my own set of rules and be independent. I think I am old enough to leave home, and I'm pretty sure I'm responsible enough to live without my parents

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cesaaaarmoran's picture
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cesaaaarmoran 11 September, 2020 - 22:27

I do look forward to leaving home but not to college, maybe for a master's degree or some international experience. I feel like i'm not mature enough and maybe it sounds cool to be like by your own and you think is partying all the time and things like that. But I don't think I'm ready personally.

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a01197985's picture
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a01197985 11 September, 2020 - 22:26

Actually I am not looking to leave home because my parents are so relaxed talking about permits and that kind of things, but I will like in some years to buy my own house to being more independent.

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Storm34's picture
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Storm34 11 September, 2020 - 22:24

I think that the argument is correct, the university is the perfect time to be indpendent since theres where we can do thing alone, since when we get out of university we are know consider adults and need to foun a work to get money.
I think that starting in university is the better time.

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XavierLealLeal 11 September, 2020 - 22:21

I'm looking forward to leaving home because I can improve my life skills, for example my sloving problems skills.I will become more independent and know how to save money. Have the liberty to do what i want and not having someone to tell me what to do.

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MAPISS's picture
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MAPISS 1 August, 2020 - 19:34

Not yet, I just wanna finish high school, but maybe in some years when I'm at university the most probably is that I'll leave home.

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LopezGonzalez801's picture
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LopezGonzalez801 27 July, 2020 - 14:19

right now, i'm not looking for leave home, but maybe in the future yes because i'll have to leave home for live close to my university.

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ThanhBong's picture
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ThanhBong 10 July, 2020 - 15:57

No, I'm not. Because I don't want to leave my lovely home. I want to live with my family.

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Ngocthao60nna10 28 June, 2020 - 17:59

I'm looking forward to leaving home because I can improve my life skills, for example my sloving problems skills.I will become more independent and know how to save money. I also feel like I am an adult.

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_nguyenthanhtom's picture
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_nguyenthanhtom 22 June, 2020 - 03:58

I agree you that leaving home is a big step in our life because we begin to be adults with many responsibilities. Leaving home is a big challenge for children and parents because we have to face to many difficulties but it will be a great experience. For me,leaving home make me be mature, I can deal with problems in real life and solve them by myself.

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