Leaving home

Leaving your family home to go to university is not always easy. Read the advice from a first-year student and her dad to get two points of view on the experience.

Instructions

Do the preparation exercise first. Then read the article and do the other exercises.

Reading

Leaving home

Going away to university is always a tricky time, both for the students who are leaving home and their parents who are staying behind. We got advice on how to cope from a student daughter and her dad.

A daughter’s advice to parents, by Kerry Price

My parents drove me to uni at the beginning of the first term. That was great, but then they hung around, so it was hard to chat to the people in the rooms near mine. It’s best if you leave us to unpack ourselves.

Don’t ask us to come home during term time. There’s a lot going on at weekends, there just isn’t time.

Get another interest or a pet if you feel lonely without us. Don’t make us feel guilty about leaving home!

It is quite interesting to hear about your experiences at uni, but remember that it was a LONG time ago so don’t go on about it so much. Things have changed a lot. Now we have a lot more debt and it’ll be harder to find a job in the future.

Please don’t check up on us or our friends on Facebook. I know it’s a public site, but we have the right to some privacy.

Don’t change anything in our bedrooms. We have only half left home - we’ll be back in the holidays, so please don’t touch anything.

We’d still like to come on family holidays with you. Don’t forget to include us just because we’re not there all the time.

A father’s advice to students, by Stuart Price

Don’t complain so much about how much work you have to do. We work a lot too. You’re an adult now, get used to it.

Put up with the fact that we refused to get a dog while you were at home, then suddenly bought one as soon as you moved out. We miss you!

Just because you’re at university studying very complex subjects, it doesn’t mean that you’re more intelligent than everybody else. Don’t treat your family as if they were stupid; we’re really not.

Let us come and visit you now and again. We promise to try not to embarrass you in front of your friends. We just want to see you for a short time and take you out for a meal.

Don’t waste so much time on Facebook. You need time for all that work you have to do, remember?

We might make a few changes to your room, so deal with it. It’s great to have a guest room at last, but we won’t change things too much, promise.

Don’t forget to call home from time to time and don’t get annoyed if we phone you. It’s not pestering. If we didn’t call, you wouldn’t know that we care.

Discussion

Are you looking forward to leaving home? Why or why not?

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Comments

Submitted by aycauzz1 on Mon, 06/06/2022 - 17:01

I don't feel ready to leave home. But my parents say they're sure I'll break up with them in college
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Submitted by robotrobot on Mon, 02/14/2022 - 12:51

It has always been a challenging question for me.Anyway,I would say that you should always listen to your heart.My heart hints me that I need to stay with my parents, at least so far. I love my parents and I will miss them so much.So I will not move to other country so as to study. Moreover, I love my country and the culture of it.When I was a child I said to my mother that even if I went to other country, my soul would always be in Russia.

Submitted by dhadzikadunic on Fri, 12/10/2021 - 21:59

I am still in secondary school and I live with my parents. Accommodation in my city is very expensive and I am not sure if I will be able to afford to live in some other place during the study.

Submitted by Korennoy_anglichanin on Wed, 10/20/2021 - 07:44

As a usual student, I think about living alone. I understand all benefits of this lifestyle. However, this decision is actually not so simple; it has both profit and losses. I want to leave home, because as everybody I have an obvious necessary to be free. The change of my living place may help me to make new friend and learn a lot of new interesting things, to gain a priceless experience. I need to leave home to go in the place where my ambitions and abilities will be demanded. However, the rule to be free may be too expensive. I do not afraid responsibility to be completely alone, but the years of hardworking to feed myself will change me for the worse. Living in home, I can use my complete social infrastructure and relations to earn money in interesting and creative ways. And it will not hurt my studies. So I decided to stay at home for nearest years to get back on my feet.
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Submitted by Sasori_n on Wed, 10/13/2021 - 07:40

Are you looking forward to leaving home? Why or why not? At the moment, I already live far away from my parents and family. I study at a wonderful university and live in a dormitory. Now I don't miss home too much, because I'm constantly busy with different kinds of activities. These are studies, various events, and entertainment. At first, of course, I felt terrible homesickness, for my parents, friends who stayed in my city. I think it was even harder for me, because I moved from a completely different country with a different mentality and people. But now that I have made a lot of new acquaintances, found real friends, I have completely lost the feeling of homesickness. In addition, nowadays, thanks to the wonderful function of social networks, I can constantly be in touch with my family and talk to them via video. It's also incredibly uplifting in difficult moments. Summing up, I want to say that moving away from home is incredibly difficult. However, it is also a very useful experience that will come in handy in later life. Do not be afraid of this, because no matter what happens, the family will always be there.
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Submitted by JoModerator on Wed, 10/13/2021 - 07:45

Hi Sasori_n,

Thanks for your comments on LearnEnglish Teens. This website is specially for teenagers aged 13-17 years old but it sounds like you could be older than that. You are welcome to keep on using LearnEnglish Teens but if you are over 17, please don't post any more comments as we must keep this strictly for teenagers to interact with each other.

 

Best wishes,

Jo (LearnEnglish Teens team)

In reply to by Sasori_n

Submitted by nikkkj on Tue, 09/14/2021 - 23:33

I'm not waiting for the opportunity to leave home, because it will be difficult for me to adapt to my new place of residence. Therefore, I don't plan to move from my family in the near future. Still, living alone would be much more comfortable, but in some situations it is more difficult.

Submitted by BettyCurl on Tue, 09/14/2021 - 18:20

Not yet, I just want to finish school, but maybe in a few years, when I go to university, maybe I will leave home. I have a very tight-knit family and I'm not sure that we can live without each other for more than 2 weeks. But on the other hand, , the university is the perfect time to be independent and responsable because in the future we are going to be adults.It is exciting and scary at the same time because you will get a lot of free time and a lot of responsibilities such as carry a budget, cook for yourself or buy some useful in household things. I hope I will get used to my own adult's life!

Submitted by Anastasia2005 on Tue, 09/14/2021 - 18:16

Let's talk about one of the important topics of leaving from parents. And we will consider about such questions whether it is necessary to leave from parents at all, why it is necessary and how it affects us. To begin with, if you want to leave from your parents, then in any case, no matter how much you want it or not, it will be difficult for both sides to get over . First of all, you need to understand that moving away from your parents makes you separate and independent, now you are responsible for your own actions the, you cook your own food, do household chores.In my opinion, it is possible to leave from your parents already when you entered the university and it is not even possible , but I would say it is necessary .Since the longer you live with your parents, the more you become attached to them and become less independent, because you can always subconsciously expect on the help of your parents ( the word help here I do not mean to help decide some problem or help make a decision, but in the sense of cleaning up for you or cooking food, etc.).Why many people do not want to leave from their parents because it is just convenient for them to be with them , they will cook , buy food ,and clean the house , and when you live alone, all these responsibilities pass to you alone. I believe that the longer a person lives with his parents, he with the time becomes not independent at all, and no matter how sad it is , but our parents will die sooner or later, and as a rule, after their pass away , people who have lived with their parents for a long time are simply not adapted to life and do not know what to do without parents.Therefore, I consider that leave from your parents is simply necessary , if you want to grow up, of course . Yes, it will be difficult to survive emotionally, but everything is possible .

Submitted by Margaritatr on Tue, 09/14/2021 - 17:36

I'm not entirely sure that I am ready to leave home. On the one hand, living without parents can improve my independence. I can learn how to budget, cook, keep household and take responsibility for my actions. On the other hand, our family ties can become weaker. I really afraid that we won't be able to become that tight-knit family we used to be.

Submitted by strawberry123_ on Tue, 08/24/2021 - 11:43

I really don`t know.. From one side it would make me more independent. And I would make a lot of new friends and there`s such cools rooms at the university, where I want to study . But from other side, I`ll be missing my parents and sister so much(( And I`d have to leave my dog, I like them so much(( So, I really don`t know, but I have 4 years to think about it.

Submitted by Tarbaev on Wed, 09/15/2021 - 06:38

I'm not going to leave my home anytime soon. I'm used to the fact that there are always people next to me who can have my back. Also, I don't know how to cook, so that if I leave home, I will need a lot of money to order healthy food and not eat fast food. If I leave the home , the stump will have to do the cleaning myself and, wash things and do any ele housework. I love my family and want to stay with it until I have my own

In reply to by strawberry123_

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Submitted by Kostantinus on Mon, 03/01/2021 - 09:17

I am not going to leave my home, because I want to have more personal life. I love my parents so I will miss them a lot when I will leave my hometown for studying at university in another city. I can't say that my friends are more important for me than my mother and my father. I believe, all students who study far away from own parents, always can find the time and possibilities to visit their parents. It's just about relationship between them. I understand, studying at uni ,associated with many tasks, but at least once a month to see own parents it's not a big challenge. Students shouldn't forget that the most important in our lives are our families and our parents won't live forever.

Submitted by Moony on Sat, 12/19/2020 - 18:35

Well I'm not completely sure but I suppose that no. I'm still too young to think hours about it, but I know that in the future leave my home to go to uni will be bittersweet because I will be excited about going to university and study something that I love but I will be sad of leaving my house and my family to make my dreams come true and I will be consternd because I'll live alone and trying to take the control of my adult life. So it's complicated give a certain answer about it right now.

Submitted by Jenny201 on Sat, 11/28/2020 - 09:19

I'm not looking forward to leaving home. Now I'm a second-year student at a university in my hometown. My university is located 13 kilometers far from my house. It's convenient for me to be able to stay at home without lending a dorm or motel. I enjoy spending time with my family and help them with household chores. After finishing any stressful subject, I just want to come back home to see and relax with them. I don't want to face 4 walls in the dorm or friends who also suffer the stressful things like me. I want to find people who get ready to spare time to confide with me. I don't literally like feeling helpless when hearing about my family's illness or trouble but I can't do anything to help them in strange places.

Submitted by editor_rachael on Sat, 11/28/2020 - 15:40

Hi Jenny201,

 

Thanks for your comments on LearnEnglish Teens. This website is specially for teenagers aged 13-17 years old but it sounds like you are older than that. You are welcome to keep on using LearnEnglish Teens but if you are over 17, please do NOT post any more comments as we must keep this strictly for teenagers to interact with each other. 

 

Best wishes,

 

Rachael
LearnEnglish Teens team

In reply to by Jenny201

Submitted by MarisolM on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:50

In my opinion I agree with Kerry's opinion it is so difficult to be independent at all. But not impossible. We don't have to forget our parents because they will be proud of us being at a university concluding our studies and they give us all the support. In the opinion of Stuart I agree with that.

Submitted by marianrg on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:45

I am looking forward to moving away from home at least one year and I think that all the tips that are here are very helpfull

Submitted by Maraguirre on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:40

Im not looking to move from my home, cause im too young and i need to learn more from life to be independent.

Submitted by alejandramr on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:39

I think that there has to be a balance because in one side, its very important to keep in touch with your family regularly so they can be sure that you are ok and safe, but in the other hand the parents have to understand that part of of their children growing and maturing process is that their daughters and sons also need some space and privacy so they can experienced new things from their own and learned from them.

Submitted by A01284811 on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:37

I agree with your comment because you don't know how to live alone, you need people and it is very difficult to make friends.

Submitted by Yuly on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:36

I am foreign student, so I could feel what Kerry felt at the university, I thing the university and the opportunity to study abroad is a really good to become independent and responsaible about our own acts. Actually leaving home is a process that all of us are going to experiment, so reading this kind of articles for me is a prediction of what could I will be feeling in a few months.

Submitted by A01284820 on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:31

In my personal life, I do not agree with the idea of living home to go to university because I do not want to leave my family and friends behind. I would like to go to university in a place that is near my house and when I graduate I will be independent. The thing that I do not like about leaving my family and friends is that I will only see them only for holidays or in the summer.

Submitted by fernandoag on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:29

I am looking forward to leave my home, because I want to finally leave by myself and have my own set of rules and be independent. I think I am old enough to leave home, and I'm pretty sure I'm responsible enough to live without my parents

Submitted by cesaaaarmoran on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:27

I do look forward to leaving home but not to college, maybe for a master's degree or some international experience. I feel like i'm not mature enough and maybe it sounds cool to be like by your own and you think is partying all the time and things like that. But I don't think I'm ready personally.

Submitted by a01197985 on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:26

Actually I am not looking to leave home because my parents are so relaxed talking about permits and that kind of things, but I will like in some years to buy my own house to being more independent.

Submitted by Storm34 on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:24

I think that the argument is correct, the university is the perfect time to be indpendent since theres where we can do thing alone, since when we get out of university we are know consider adults and need to foun a work to get money. I think that starting in university is the better time.

Submitted by XavierLealLeal on Fri, 09/11/2020 - 21:21

I'm looking forward to leaving home because I can improve my life skills, for example my sloving problems skills.I will become more independent and know how to save money. Have the liberty to do what i want and not having someone to tell me what to do.

Submitted by MAPISS on Sat, 08/01/2020 - 18:34

Not yet, I just wanna finish high school, but maybe in some years when I'm at university the most probably is that I'll leave home.

Submitted by LopezGonzalez801 on Mon, 07/27/2020 - 13:19

right now, i'm not looking for leave home, but maybe in the future yes because i'll have to leave home for live close to my university.
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Submitted by IGYOON on Tue, 07/21/2020 - 11:19

Yes i want to leave home.

Submitted by ThanhBong on Fri, 07/10/2020 - 14:57

No, I'm not. Because I don't want to leave my lovely home. I want to live with my family.

Submitted by Ngocthao60nna10 on Sun, 06/28/2020 - 16:59

I'm looking forward to leaving home because I can improve my life skills, for example my sloving problems skills.I will become more independent and know how to save money. I also feel like I am an adult.

Submitted by _nguyenthanhtom on Mon, 06/22/2020 - 02:58

I agree you that leaving home is a big step in our life because we begin to be adults with many responsibilities. Leaving home is a big challenge for children and parents because we have to face to many difficulties but it will be a great experience. For me,leaving home make me be mature, I can deal with problems in real life and solve them by myself.

Submitted by LinhNguyen_2208 on Sun, 06/21/2020 - 12:18

To me, I think I am not looking forward to leaving home because I'm afraid of homesick. I and my family are extremely close-knit so I don't wanna leave my home. On the other hand, if I have to leave my home perhaps for serving my jobs or getting married far away from home, I think I still accept and think more positively. Maybe leaving home makes me more independent and stronger.
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Submitted by Yennhi on Sun, 06/21/2020 - 03:27

Right now I'm living far away from home. I have my dream pursuit, I wanna get a good job in the future, so I have to effort from now. And I think independent is really important in life for an adult, you can learn to be more responsible and to value the things you get. So I believe leaving home is not bad.

Submitted by Kimthoa172 on Fri, 06/19/2020 - 06:46

Personally I think leaving home to go to the university will be a good opportunity for us to experience and learn many useful skills from our lives. Although sometimes I miss my family a lot, I always try my best to develop my future!!!

Submitted by thuchien on Thu, 06/18/2020 - 01:14

I'm looking forward to leaving home as I not only feel comfortable but also improve my life skills, for example my decision-making skills. I also feel like I am an adult. Furthermore, leaving home helps me independent, although at first I would get some troubles about finance.
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Submitted by s1rko on Sun, 05/24/2020 - 16:39

I don't care, I will feel in the new place almost the same as at home. Of course, after a long time I will start to miss home. The main thing in the new place is to find friends so that it was not so difficult to live. At least once a day to call parents so that they do not worry. And wait for the holidays to come home.
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Submitted by Giovannichoi on Mon, 04/13/2020 - 07:43

Nope, I don't looking foward to leave my home fo university. I've never been aparted and devided from my parents. Even I'm not going any academies. And I feel scared and very uncomfortable when I am alone in my house or somewhere. I feel like my parents will abandon me. So, I don't want to leave my home and live departed with my parents. And when I grow up in the future,if I have to leave them, I'll NEVER forget my parents and be rude to my parents. Because they are very special people for me, like give me a birth and grow me up. I 'll always thankful to them and always don't forget the parent's day. they are mercyful and glorious. They are worth to have this attitudes.

Submitted by Elife on Fri, 02/14/2020 - 23:59

Yes, in my opinion, independence is very important in the life of a teenager, because you learn to be more responsible for yourself, and to value the things you get.

Submitted by Tamaldemole on Thu, 02/13/2020 - 18:21

I live in my own house, I have an equally own room, I have a bed and a bathroom for my needs and I have a patio

Submitted by Dannyrdz89 on Thu, 11/21/2019 - 17:11

i think that the parents are misssing they daugther and the girl wants to have some privacy, and other thing the girl is growing up and also is a thing of mature and becoming a woman.

Submitted by KeylaVazquez on Tue, 09/24/2019 - 02:37

Like all people, I will leave my home one day with the certainty that I will miss my family. Besides that, I know that it will be a great challenge since I am not used to stay away from my comfort zone, live without my parents,take care of payments and mantain a house. Certainly, it will not be easy for my parents or me, but I am sure that we will know how to deal with that.

Submitted by A01285136 on Wed, 10/09/2019 - 15:53

You have a very good comment I think the same as you, soon we will have to leave our home and that will be very difficult but it is something we have to do, and if it will be difficult but you will get used.

In reply to by KeylaVazquez

Submitted by A01282744 on Wed, 10/09/2019 - 16:06

awww, I'm agree with you and I hope you do very well when you move out of your house.

In reply to by KeylaVazquez

Submitted by a01284478 on Tue, 09/24/2019 - 01:30

It makes me a good idea to leave home but not at an early age this would be in about 6 more years since not all people can live and stay alone

Submitted by regis on Tue, 09/24/2019 - 00:49

At the moment not because I am not of legal age and I still need the help of my parents. But in the future, when I finish my career, I would like to get married and have children, therefore, I would also like to be independent and have my own home.

Submitted by A01285124 on Thu, 09/26/2019 - 01:17

I think that you are right, but if you want you could go and see the international programs in the school, maybe you get interested and you could meet new friends and new experiences.

In reply to by regis

Submitted by A01282744 on Mon, 09/23/2019 - 16:28

For me I left home is a bit difficult since I am very attached to my family but I think it is a very good experience that helps us mature. -Ale
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